plain okay

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I was tired so much. I asked permission to go home to sleep early so I did not do overwork yesterday. My body was like not my body. I was sleepy and feel pain everywhere in my body. This happened because I did not get any good sleep and overwork for 4 days.
Now, after trying to sleep, I slept at 8 and woke up at 2.30 am. I went to pee, and yoga again. Now, I feel so better, at least my body. I feel sorry to not hear enough what my body trying to say.

flower

Mimpi Reply 1988


Sepertinya aku bermimpi panjang sekali dan memang banyak sekali cerita yang terjadi. Aku akan mencoba menuliskannya sebelum semua memori hilang.

Aku bermimpi.

Aku dimimpi entah menjadi orang lain atau menjadi diriku sendiri, sepertinya pilihan yang pertama. Aku dan teman-temanku mendengarkan sebuah lagu yang dimainkan oleh orang yang sering dijauhi orang lain karena aneh. Anehnya itu adalah karena dia bisa menghilang dan mungkin saja dia punya kekuatan lain yang terlihat manusia juga. Sudah bertahun-tahun, namun itulah pertama kalinya penampilan dia disaksikan orang banyak (5 orang). Dia terharu sekali melihat kami. Dia pun bercerita mengenai sebuah kisah yang mungkin ada hubungannya dengan pencarian kami di kampung zombie.

Dimas mematahkan gitar. Ya, dia mematahkan gitar. Tapi anehnya, aku yakin dia itu keponakanku dan namanya dimas, tapi wajahnya berbeda sekali. Terlihat lebih besar, entahlah. Lalu dia membawa banyak uang recehan di keresek hitam, dan memberikannya padaku. Aku marah tentu karena itu gitarku.

Aku merasa menjadi pemeran utama di Reply 1988. Ada Taek juga! haha, ternyata yang mendengarkan orang yang menyedihkan itu ternyata kami berlima. Kami pun mendengar dari dia mengenai sebuah cerita, namun aku lupa lagi. Lalu kami pun mencari sesuatu. Kita pergi ke jalan kecil perkampungan kota yang banyak rumahnya. Kami pun masuk ke kampung itu.

Dari kejauhan kami melihat ada 5 orang yang memandangi kami. Tampak ada seseorang yang mungkin laki-laki yang mungkin ayahnya memakai jas dokter yang berwarna putih. Kami pun melintas sekolahan. Mereka melakukan hal yang tidak biasa. Wajah-wajahnya pun terlihat aneh meski mereka manusia. Ada yang jualan juga layaknya dimana-mana tapi tetap aneh saja. Lalu aku melihat ada seseorang yang membom sebuah ruangan!
Sontak aku tahu bahwa yang dibom itu zombie karena mereka tidak mudah mati. Dan yang membom itu manusia dan memberi kami peringatan untuk kabur dari tempat itu. Sontak kami pun lari sekuat tenaga. Dan zombie-zombie itu mencari-cari kami. Hingga akhirnya kami keluar dari perkampungan itu.

Besoknya, temanku datang padaku. Dia bilang dia tahu apa yang harus dilakukan agar zombie tidak sadar bahwa kami manusia. Dia ingin kesana lagi untuk memfoto suasana sekitar dan zombie itu sendiri. Aku juga setuju. Aku ingin memfoto itu semua dengan kamera yang bagus yang ku punya. Anehnya tombolnya tidak berada di kamera, bisa diklik dengan sebuah remote kecil. Kami pun kesana lagi, meski dengan hati-hati.

Ada cerita percintaan juga sebenarnya namun aku lupa lagi.
  • Current Mood
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flower

Resolution 2018!


  1. I heal myself. I love myself.

  2. Being a full freelance and can live by being a full freelance.

  3. Read 100 books

  4. Live at the moment

  5. Memorize Juz 30

  6. Loss weight -> 10 Kg

  7. Can play 10 hard songs (Piano)

friendship

2. What physical characteristics are you most self-conscious about?

The most physical characteristic that bothers me is my weight. I have an obsession to lose my weight since when I was in high school. When I was in university, I was losing my weight but it seems I was still not being grateful with that too. I think the problem here is that my self-image is bad. However, the fact now is that I am over weight a little bit and I really want to lose 5 kilos. It must be nice if I can do that. I don't know how to make peace with this. Whenever I eat something that is more than I expect, I will feel guilty. But the bad thing is that when I am stressed (which is so often for me), I will crave foods. And if I eat too much, it will make me feel stressed. And it's bad for my health and for skin too. It's like a vicious circle. The other one is the structure of my teeth. It's a little bit forward. I also don't have a high nose so the height between my nose and my mouth is almost same. The reason why I feel that I need to smile a lot is to hide this. And the last one is my posture. My posture is really bad.

How I can make peace with those characteristics?

I appreciate my body because it is healthy. No one is perfect. And this body actually is not my body. I only rent it for some years. So, I don't have a right to judge it, instead, I am thankful that God gives me this healthy body. My partner always said that I don't have the right to tell bad things about my body because the one who will beep my lips is him not me. Lol. And he appreciates this appearance so much, so why am I not? I think he taught me how to love myself more. So, from now, of course, I will try to lose my weight but with feeding myself with the healthy food, not a freaking diet or hard exercise that I only can do it for once a year.
writing

1. What is your favorite physical characteristic (face or body)?

I have a bad self-image.
Sometimes I can't see myself into the mirror. So, this question is hard for me, but I will try to think about it.
My favorite physical characteristic is
my eyes,
my shape of face,
my tiny hands,
my tiny nose,
my eyebrows,
my smooth hair,
my airy vibe face,
my blushing face,
and my smile.

I also proud with all my cells that always work for me so I can function myself. Thank you so much.
plain okay

MY PROBLEMS

I want to be as cool as my favourite musician, Ichiko Aoba. I keep trying to be her. I update my Instagram to be mysterious, more artistic, and more beautiful, like what she does. I changed one of my Tumblr blogs to be simplest like her. I also want to write beautifully like how she does too. Her writing is a collection of poets and I admire it. I also want to live like her, like looking far away from a veranda and start writing or creating music or art. She also makes me want to born as Japanese.

I keep making angry myself with feeding myself with an unhealthy and big portion of foods. It makes hard for me to lose my weight. I am longing for my skinny me. But it seems a faraway dream because I never succeed it. I am considering to make a gym membership but I don’t know if I will have the energy to exercise. I worry that I will waste my money. I already found a good gym for women. But now I worry about the transportation. What is the good way, the cheap way?

My face will have so many acnes soon and I should stop its progress. I want to clean my face every evening and use some nature masks like honey, lemon, apple vinegar, yoghurt which are available in my refrigerator. The problem is that I am more often lazy.

I keep avoiding my work tasks. I have so many works that I don’t like now. Do you want to know what are they? I should make an algorithm for Trip Planner feature. I need to finish create The Content Editor. I also need to find the right contributor. I also need to make a good plan for this contributor thing.

I should make mock-ups for a desktop version. I need to make a good presentation for marketing this app. I need to make a good presentation for a business plan. o I need to make a good presentation for my professor presentation in a university in Bandung.

I want to have a good place to put my mind. I am confused which one should I use. I want to clean everything that I don’t use anymore. I want to write more and more.

I should do something for mom, dad, and our house. I want to give them so many things. I also know that I should spend my time more with them. I want to make our house pretty. I want to re-paint them, buy new sweeper, plant flowers in our garden, clean the house, and buy some ornaments for the house.

I want to make a cook book and cook more complicated foods.

I should play piano or I will never have a touch of pianist and I should start it over and over again.

I should read the books that I currently read. I am afraid that I cannot reach my 50 books goal.